Finished with Fighting

family fighting

Dear Karly,

Whenever my family meets for a party or the holidays, my family fights. I feel like I should get involved and tell them all that they’re doing wrong, but I find it hard to be around them. What advice do you have for me?

Finished with Fighting, 10

Dear Finished with Fighting,

Before you get involved, ask yourself why you’re getting involved.  If it’s in any way about YOU or what YOU get out of it or how people will think of YOU, back away now. You’ll only get into trouble and cause more fighting. By staying away from their issues, you’ll show everyone how you can still be a part of the family, without being part of their negativity. It may be uncomfortable if you know that they’re creating problems within their family. But know that people will forgive each other when they’re good and ready to, and not before.

When around negative people, the easiest solution is to cut them out of your life. Obviously, when your family is negative, you can’t, nor should you cut them out. You can’t prevent them from being negative either. The best solution is to let their comments slide. Although it’s hard, you can’t take their comments personally.

Try to find one person in your family with whom you can have a good relationship, and stick with that person when the family gets together. It will help you avoid the fighting.

And always remember: The moment you realize that negative people are unhappy with themselves, you’ll no longer be as upset at them for their negativity.




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