We’re two girls who used to have another friend with us. Now she left us, and makes fun of us to others. What should we do?
Teri and Hazel, 13
Hi Teri and Hazel,
Your former friend makes fun of you. That must hurt! The good news is that even though she’s making fun of you, you can still make up.
The best way to do it is to have an open conversation with your former friend. You can call her up and ask her directly why she left you. She may not give you a direct answer, but at least you tried.
It’s awkward to confront anyone, especially a former friend. Make sure to be prepared before you confront her. It’s easy to get emotional, so take your time to think about the situation logically.Plan what you will say. Be honest with yourself if there’s anything that’s your fault. Tell your friend exactly what you don’t like about her behavior, and give her specific examples of the behavior you are talking about. Let her know how her actions make you feel. Use “I” more than “you.” For example, say, “I feel hurt when you make fun of me” instead of “You make me angry.” No matter how tense the situation gets, do not yell or use any negative language in reference to your friend. This will only make the situation worse. Make sure to listen and to respond calmly to what she has to say. Set clear rules so that you both know exactly what kind of behavior the other finds upsetting.
And always remember: When hated don’t give way to hating!